There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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