I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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