the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
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Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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