Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize