plz talk dirty to me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
we should paint friendship bongs
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