Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
