Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize