Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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