so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
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I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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