his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
two words...techno handjob
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
