In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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