K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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