u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my poor anus
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
