Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
