dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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