dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
