i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
