I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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