dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In other news, I just burned my penis
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
