Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
