if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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