I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
im on a boat
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