Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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