a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
