Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
