I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
