I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
