batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
