Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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