So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
