There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize