Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this will be a night to untag.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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