finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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