i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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