...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
