I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
