Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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