ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
