There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
