This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
