i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
