I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
