i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
