no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
