YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
