Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I pour the whiskey from now on
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize