I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize