Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
