Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize