Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
