My nipple is on Facebook.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
