been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
