I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
