I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
