dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
