I cockslap morals
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
