Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
