She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
