Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
