I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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