There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
